There few things more touching than getting a tattoo of a loved one who’s passed away. It can be a sweet and permanent reminder of those you hold closest to your heart, even if they’re no longer with you. But one dad-to-be on Reddit was recently creeped out when his wife asked to get a tattoo of the baby she miscarried — but the baby was conceived with her ex.
You see, he and his wife are expecting their first baby together in October, and the topic came up when they discussed honoring their future kiddo with some ink.
“Talking about it the other day, she said she wants to do names + birthdates,” he wrote, before explaining that his wife said “she would put the name of the kid she previously miscarried and the date of the miscarriage above our child’s.”
This made the poster wonder if it was strange to commemorate a miscarriage that happened six years ago — and with another man.
“I’m not trying to be the guy who’s upset because his wife had a life before him, but I feel weird about her putting the name her and her ex gave the miscarried child on the same level as our child, in a tattoo,” he explained. “I told her that and she got kind of mad and upset at me.”
The soon-to-be dad added that although his wife thinks of her miscarriage “as much her child as ours,” he doesn’t see it that way.
“To me it’s different because that child never lived, and our kid won’t ever meet that kid,” he wrote. “I don’t know if this is just because it’s not my child though, and I need to shut up and just accept it.”
He added that he knows he has no right to stop her from getting the tattoo if she wants it, but that he also feels “it was okay for me ask her to reconsider.”